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Fizbin game from Star Trek - A Piece of the Action
10/28/2008, 06:03:56

    DaveO writes:

    This, uh, this card game is a kid's game.
    You think so?
    Oh, yes. I wouldn't waste my time.
    Who's asking you?
    On Beta Antares IV, they play a real game.
    It's a man's game, but a little beyond you.
    It requires intelligence.
    Listen, Kirk,
    I can play anything you can figure out.
    Take the cards, big man.
    Show us how it's played.
    I'm familiar with the culture on Beta Antares.
    There aren't games --
    Spock. Spock.
    Of course the cards on Beta Antares IV are different,
    but not too different.
    The name of the game is called, uh ...
    Fizzbin. It's, uh ... not too difficult.
    Each player gets six cards,
    except for the player
    on the dealer's right, who gets seven.
    On the right?
    The second card is turned up, except on Tuesdays.
    On Tuesday.
    [Kirk] Mm-hmm.
    Oh, look what you got, twojacks.
    You got a half fizzbin already.
    I need another jack.
    No. If you got another jack,
    why, you'd have a sralk.
    A sralk?
    Yes. You'd be disqualified.
    You need a king and a deuce,
    except at night, when you'd need a queen and a 4.
    Except at night.
    Oh, look at that.
    You've got another jack!
    Ha ha ha!
    How lucky you are! How wonderful for you.
    If you didn't get another jack,
    if you'd gotten a king,
    why, then, you'd get another card,
    except when it's dark, you'd give it back.
    If it were dark on Tuesday.
    But what you're after is a royal fizzbin,
    but the odds in getting a royal fizzbin are astron --
    Spock, what are the odds in getting a royal fizzbin?
    I've never computed them.
    Well, they're astronomical, believe me.
    Now, for the last card. We'll call it a kronk.

    At the kronk point the guy is belted by Kirk or incapacitated by Spock's nerve pinch.

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