Got to thinking about old games again. I remember a few games that poked fun at real people. Unfortunately, I can't remember all the titles. (Hey, I AM 85.) Our very own JVC (Jon Van Canegham) spoofed a popular game hint person (hintress?) in M&M3. Before the World Wide Web became a reality, there were very few ways to get hints for games when you were stymied, unless you had a lot of friends who also were hooked on our favorite pastime, and could look to them for answers. The rest of us either paid to call a game designer's hint line, via a 900 telephone number (I became first-name "friends" with the guys on the Magic Candle hint line,) or: if you were forbidden (by angry parents or whoever) from making toll calls, you could either subscribe to Shay Addams' monthly newsletter containing hints, or wait for your monthly issue of Computer Gaming World, and see if Scorpia's monthly column had the answers to your dilemma.
(Scorpia was allegedly a mysterious lady who occasionally took pity on us mere mortals and gave hints to various RPG's.) If none of these plans worked, tough luck. You either spent hours mulling over the puzzles or, like most of us, you gave up in despair and anger. (I read later that various male staff members of CGW served as "Scorpia.) Well, JVC got even. In MM3, a fat, slovenly-looking "lady" monster was named Scorpia. Leisure Suit Larry was a series of send-ups of the typical "lounge lizards" of the day: not-particularly attractive young men who never outgrew their "frat boy" days, and who hung around popular night clubs and watering holes looking to "score." One of the Leisure Suit Larry games featured a couple of "babes" named Whydoncha and Nailme Juggs, who of course were generously endowed. (As a fan of the Judds, I didn't think it was all that funny. I always wondered what Winona and Naomi thought about it. I did admire the puns, though.)
I can't remember what the third game was. It was in the very early days, when sound cards were a new luxury. (Not all games required a sound card. Many were as silent as ever.) It might have been one of Wizardry games, soon after D. W. Bradley took over the game design. I just can't remember. At any rate, the game was mostly silent. At one point, your party approaches a castle with an artificial lake at the front. A monster (can't remember what sort) starts to chant, "Pia Zadora, Pia Zadora, Pia Zadora," (Pronounced, "Pee-AH, Zad-o-RAH, though most of us referred to the actress as, "PEE-uh Zuh-DOR-ah. A Hungarian friend told us that the game's pronunciation was actually correct.)
And Maybeth, I'm sorry I didn't greet you with a welcoming cask of magic Elf Ale: a beverage that will taste exactly how your fave tastes, and will make you happy, but never drunk. It also won't show up of breath-o-meters. Welcome back!
