Original Message:   0100 GMT, Dec. 24
Here on the Left Coast of the USA, it was 17:00 Dec. 23. (Now it's Christmas Day, after we all had Elf waffles for breakfast. Yum!) Baby Elf still doesn't care to try computer RPG's. She still prefers her Candy Crush and the various Jewel games. I think there may be some Brownie blood somewhere back in either Papa Elf's or my lineage, as Baby Elf is quite the busy little bee. Come to think of it, Papa Elf is not lazy at all, unlike Yours Truly. OMG! Almost forgot! Here is this year's special Christmas Elf Ale, named after my busy North Pole cousins. (I don't know where their industry comes from; maybe it's proximity to Santa himself.) As all magical Elf brews are, it has as much alcohol (or as little) as you like, and is as hoppy, malty, or grainy as you like, too. No matter how much you drink, it will never leave you more than as happy as you like. All your mental and physical faculties will be totally unimpaired, perhaps even improved-upon. It will also never cause a hangover. Don't like malt beverages? Well, Elf Ale will taste like whatever libation suits your fancy, be it Original, Genuine, C*c* C*l*, P*ps*, or even something along the lines of Glenfiddich, Wild Turkey, Herradura, or aged cognac. Bones, don't be alarmed because there's only one keg. This is my latest endeavor: a self-filling barrel! There in enough for everyone in the Tavern to have as much as he/she wants, lasting into February, when St. Valentine takes over the reins from St. Nicholas. Merry Christmas, everybody!

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